I promised you the constructive critic, but I'm not so sure if it'll be constructive, becosuse right now I'm all like "that's fucking awesome!". Ok, but I really want to give a little more specificity. First of all I love the fact this story is so open to the interpretation: there's no simple answer if all this strange things were just bad Somnacin, or this house was really hunted one. Arthur being mischievous was even more great than usual, but maybe I leave for little later. Another great thing is the atmosphere: you proved many times that you have a great ability to write about creepy things, but this story goes beyond all lines, I literally wanted to check if nothing is hidden behind the curtain. Especially when I was listening to this song, while reading. BRRR. I love also how funny things are mixing with the sad and serious one. And that's the point when I'm coming back to Arthur; he's really adorable while messing with Eames's head, but he also gives me creeps- the way he feels about this whole house is a disturbing one. And somehow you added all this pieces of information about him: some things we already know, like this one about being touched, but it works beautifully in this story, creating a great characterization for him. And I absolutely feel in love with this sentence: "But Arthur wants to make love to this house. And that, he must admit, is strange even for him." And text messages between Arthur and Eames are priceless, especially because I know this system of texting NEVER works. In order to get the word you're thinking about you need to type every letter by yourself. And somehow the idea of Eames sending all this messages when Arthur is not more than 100 meters away is cute. And Eames is generally sweet in this story, the moment he tells Arthur he needs his help to get out of the mountains is absolutely adorable. Seems I'm totally enthusiastic about this story. Well, I knew that an idea as crazy as this one just has to work in your hands. But to leave something more than compliments there's somewhere a missing full stop. So the house was mind-blowing creepy, the best sort, Eames was adorable and the whole story brought all kind of emotions to me. Really. Amazing job! Oh, and the fedora thing! I love it from the first story when it appears and it happens that I currently have a photo of Joseph Gordon-Levitt in fedora as a wallpaper on my laptop... Ok, better I stop rambling here.
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Ok, but I really want to give a little more specificity.
First of all I love the fact this story is so open to the interpretation: there's no simple answer if all this strange things were just bad Somnacin, or this house was really hunted one. Arthur being mischievous was even more great than usual, but maybe I leave for little later. Another great thing is the atmosphere: you proved many times that you have a great ability to write about creepy things, but this story goes beyond all lines, I literally wanted to check if nothing is hidden behind the curtain. Especially when I was listening to this song, while reading. BRRR. I love also how funny things are mixing with the sad and serious one. And that's the point when I'm coming back to Arthur; he's really adorable while messing with Eames's head, but he also gives me creeps- the way he feels about this whole house is a disturbing one. And somehow you added all this pieces of information about him: some things we already know, like this one about being touched, but it works beautifully in this story, creating a great characterization for him. And I absolutely feel in love with this sentence: "But Arthur wants to make love to this house. And that, he must admit, is strange even for him." And text messages between Arthur and Eames are priceless, especially because I know this system of texting NEVER works. In order to get the word you're thinking about you need to type every letter by yourself. And somehow the idea of Eames sending all this messages when Arthur is not more than 100 meters away is cute. And Eames is generally sweet in this story, the moment he tells Arthur he needs his help to get out of the mountains is absolutely adorable.
Seems I'm totally enthusiastic about this story. Well, I knew that an idea as crazy as this one just has to work in your hands. But to leave something more than compliments there's somewhere a missing full stop.
So the house was mind-blowing creepy, the best sort, Eames was adorable and the whole story brought all kind of emotions to me. Really.
Amazing job!
Oh, and the fedora thing! I love it from the first story when it appears and it happens that I currently have a photo of Joseph Gordon-Levitt in fedora as a wallpaper on my laptop...
Ok, better I stop rambling here.